I have no words for my reality

 

 

 

 

That's what writers do. We put pen to paper in times of devestating tragedy. We just try to make sense of it. Maybe we'll find clarity in those words. Maybe we'll find peace.

 

........

 

 

I'm all In.

She believed she could so she did

 

 

Tragedies hapen. What are you going to do? Give up? Quit? No. I realize now that when your heart breaks, you gotta fight like hell to make sure you're still alive. Because you are. And that pain you feel? That's life. The confusion and fear? That's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better, and that something is worth fighting for.

I'll try until I can't

You can run far, you can take your small precautions. But have you really gotten away? Or is it the truth that you did not have the strength or cunning to hide from destiny? That the world is not small. you are. And, fate can find you anywhere.

 

We spend our whole lives trying to predict the future. As if figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears, and our wildest hopes. But one thing is certain: When it finally reveals itself, the future is never the way we imagined it.

We spend all of that time focused on the future. Planning it. Working toward it. But at some point, you start to realize, your life is happening now. This is it. Say what you need to say. Make a plan. Set a goal. Work towards it. But every now and then, look around. Drink it in. 'Cause this is it.

The trick with any kind of wound is to dig down and find the real source of the injury, and then try like hell to heal that sucker.

 

 

 

People have scars in all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret road maps of their personal histories, diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our old wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't.

Some wounds we carry with us everywhere... and though the cut is Long gone, the pain still lingers.

What's worse? New wounds, which are so horribly painful, or old wounds which should have healed years ago, and never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we've been, and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think.

But that's not the way it is, is it? Some things we just have to learn over and over again.

Do you know when to walk away? Do you know when not to take less than you deserve?

Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful  for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.

So funny

Gotta love Ellen Degeneres for her amazing insight.

"The key to life is balance. Think of a seesaw. On one side is Give, the other side is Take. If you just give and give and give, you've got nothing left. You're empty. Which means you don't weigh anything because empty equals weightless; so Take is just sitting on the ground bored out of its mind saying, "I'm bored, I can't take any more of this," which is a pretty strong statement since that's what Take's job is. It is to take. And if Take can't take anymore, then well, I think you see my point.

And same goes for taking too much. If you keep taking and taking and taking, you get loaded down. Taking equals heavy. So Give is stranded way up in the air saying, "Hey, I'm way up in the air." And then Take is like, "So?" And Give is like, "I hate you. All you do is take." And Take is like, "You're the stupid poopoohead for giving all the time." And Take gets off the seesaw to leave and Give goes crashing to the ground and then Take feels bad and rushes over to see if Give is okay and they hug and start crying and both apologize for being so selfish. So you see, it needs to be balanced.

also

Start thinking positively. You will notice a difference. Instead of "I think I'm a loser," try "I definitely am a loser." Stop being wishy-washy about things! How much more of a loser can you be if you don't even know you are one? Either you are a loser or you are not. Which is it, stupid?

The Funny Thing Is - Ellen Degeneres.
If you haven't read this book yet, you probably should.

It's funny how everything you hear just seems to fit somehow

I'm being dragged down
Down by the hand
The hand of a golden giant man

He's crushing my knuckles and splitting my skin
He says he'll let go if only I ask it of him

He says girl it's your call
You wanna fly
You wanna fall

So I shout I wanna get away from you as fast as I can
I tell my feet to move it
I hope they have a plan

These little black sandals are walking me away
These little black sandals are heading the right way
These little black sandals are walking me away
These little black sandals saved my life today

So now I'm free
Free from the big bad giant who was stalking me
Thank you feet for guiding me
I'm glad somehow I've got brains down there at least

Sometimes I'm tempted
Sometimes I am
I would be lying if I said I didn't miss that giant man
Oh he was the line between pleasure and pain
but me and the feet have some years to reclaim

-Sia