I'm not sure what i'm jumping into just hanging by a moment here with you.

Lately I've realized most that when you're down in the dumps the easiest way to get out is to find the things that inspire you to feel better, until before you know it you're better all together.

"You are suffering form an ailment that affects ladies of romantic imaginations. Symptoms include fainting, weariness, loss of appetite, low spirits. While on one level the crisis can be ascribed to wandering about in freezing rain without the benefit of adequate waterproofing, the deeper cause is more likely to be found in some emotional trauma. However, unlike the heroines of your favorite novels, your constitution has not been weakened by the privations of life in earlier, harsher centuries. No tuberculosis, no childhood polio, no unhygienic living conditions. You'll survive." - Diane Setterfield. (mad kudos to her)

People seem to jump from one sensation to the next just looking to be happy. All we want to do is party and hang out, we never seem to get enough of it. But is that really what makes us happy? The problem of looking for happiness in things like getting drunk is that the feeling is gone the next day. And like a drunk, we start to go again in a spree. And the futile cycle goes on and on.

We all know that worldly things can never give us lasting happiness, but we all want to prove it ourselves. And so we waste our time.

"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else."

I feel as if the further I move away the more I run into a loss of words. Still. I don't know if it's sadness or if it's progress. I feel anxious. Anxious to move on, to be content. It's a matter of time. A waiting game, not just for me, but also for my sister. We'll conquer this game together.

"Courage consists not in blindly overlooking danger, but in seeing it, and conquering it."

-Jean Paul Richter

Speak your mind, don't let anyone censor.

There are certain instances where things may be said and then you think to yourself.. shoot why did i say that? People shouldn't think that. If you regret saying what you say then you have no reason to be saying it.I've learned that I've lost things and people because of what i didn't say. and if me saying something now results in a loss, still, then that thing wasn't meant to be kept. I'm sure you've realized that thing now means person. I may be embarrassed by the things that i do sometimes lol, who isn't, but I've learned that if i want something I'll say it. If the person wants it too, they'll say something back. If not, or if they are too afraid, then at least you wont be left wondering.

"He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words." - Elbert Hubbard

To be a complete girl..

I find myself lying in bed in the middle of the night because of a bad dream.. about a boy of course.

Look at me. Living in paradise, yet a wreck. I wouldn't say a total wreck, I have had some experience with this lately. What makes it hard is that things get so good, but you're just ripped away again. The hardest thing isn't loving someone who doesn't love you back. It's loving someone who isn't capable of being with you. Which I guess that would be the same thing wouldn't it.. It's just, anyone can give up. it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength. But you see nobody is there to see how strong you are. You've got to do it on your own, which only makes you stronger. "You just don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."

No more lying awake and wondering. watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.

Let's see what Hawaii has in store for us in the morning. Good night :)

Where the adventure starts

Where does excitement come from? Maybe it's just the fact of being in a place like Hawaii. Lets get off this base and go find the islands and the beaches. One thing about my adventure is I can't look back anymore. Today I wanted to swim with sea turtles and hike in the jungle. I ended up getting to experience the North Shore. Watched a surf competition and almost got knocked over by water that was only to my ankles. I love it. Like Roald Amundsen once said, "Adventure is just bad planning." The more unfamiliar it becomes for me. The more unfamiliar, the more likely I am to move towards new things. Can't wait to see what comes for me tomorrow. :)

Hawaii for a change.

Hellen Keller said, "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. to keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable." I see my path. I know it's their, but i don't know where it's going to lead. However, not knowing where I am going is what inspires me to travel it.